Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving makes me crazy(er)

I got up really early this morning, so early it looked like nighttime and ploped the great big giant turkey I got for next to nothing because I am a valued customer (I think this is the first time I have ever shopped there) into the great big giant roasting pan, rubbed the poor creature with butter and seasoned it well, and hefted it into the oven,  fixed myself and alka seltzer on the rocks and went back to bed.
I was roused from my slumbers by the bombastic buzz of my alarm, I could already smell a delicious aroma from the kitchen, someone was making toast.  When I got there it turned out to be the turkey cooking so I had to make my own toast.

I hope no one ever asks me any questions about Thanksgiving. Really because I am so confused by this holiday.
I mean shouldn't we be thankful everyday? There are so many thing to be thankful for.  Some things that are huge, like the love of family and friends, freedom,and microwave ovens, and some things not so much like candy corn, comfortable broken in shoes and pens that are not out of ink.
And having Native American ancestors, am I not rooting for the wrong side when I celebrate Thanksgiving?  This has always made the celebrating of  Thanksgiving problematic.  I am so glad i gave up being a vegetarian, because that would make another conflict of conscience.

I watched South Park the other day, and that philosopher of the lunch line Eric Cartman, has made everything clear to me.  Why didn't I think of it before, of course the History Channel would have the answers I needed.  And Cartman had found it for me.  Stuffing and possibly Thanksgiving itself were inventions of Extraterrestrials!  So I scoff at those who complain that there is very little history on the History Channel,  they had enough to  answer some of my persistent questions.


Feast, Give thanks, enjoy the company of friends and family, and don't forget to leave a plate of cookies and turkey skin for the aliens, er' I mean Cartman.

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